Six Tips for Men Using an Egg Donor

The journey to becoming parents for a gay male couple can be long and emotionally draining. In most cases, a surrogate will be used. Along with selecting a surrogate, you will need to select an egg donor as well. Chances are, you might feel a little overwhelmed and might even be a little scared. You may also have a lot of questions, which is completely normal. Choosing an egg donor is a huge decision! So before embarking on your journey, take some time to process everything.   

Egg Donation plays an important role in the surrogacy process, especially for gay men building a family. Same-sex male couples have the option of asking a family member or a close friend to donate eggs for them. They can also work with an anonymous egg donor whom they filter out from a database of an agency. Those couples or individuals who choose to work with an agency may be concerned about the process, how it works, or how you will be able to choose the right egg donor for growing your family.

At Coastal Fertility, we have worked with many LGBT couples seeking an egg donor to grow their family. We understand that this whole egg donation process may seem daunting, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. Here are some important tips for all gay parents who are embarking on their family building journey through egg donation.

Pause and Breathe

It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed. This is a very big decision, so take a deep breath. You should give yourself some time to wrap your head around the whole process. The egg donor plays a very important role, but also consider what you want in a surrogate, choosing the right clinic. After all, how much money it will all cost.

One of the great things about building a family in America as a gay couple is that we have progressive laws that allow for it. Society is now accepting of kids with same-sex parents. We are also now able to create an embryo that could be implanted in a surrogate. The only downside is that there are a lot of moving parts and expenses involved. It may take a little time to financially prepare yourself.

At such times, it’s important to know that it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed or wonder what to do next. Make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. So that together you can figure out your exact path and work out exactly what’s needed. It all takes some time, so don’t rush anything.

Choose an Egg Donor Clinic

If you decide not to use someone that you know personally to be an egg donor, it’s important to find the right clinic. Always remember to select a clinic where you feel respected and are cared for. Keep an eye out for physicians who have your best interests in mind. Look for a doctor who is kind, and compassionate and above all, be willing to partner with you during your journey. You can always reach out Coastal Fertility if you have any questions.  

Think About What’s Important to You

Most Intended Parents look for specific characteristics that match their own. It’s a good idea to sit down and prioritize those qualities. It’s also important to figure out what traits you can be flexible on, as it’s highly unlikely to find someone who has the exact traits you’re looking for. This can become the most overwhelming part of selecting an egg donor. The bottom line is – do your homework, ask questions and always trust your gut when you feel like something doesn’t sit well. Don’t believe that paying a higher fee to an agency or donor will get you a premium quality donor egg, that’s not how it works.

Always remember to select a few possible candidates when it comes to egg donors. It’s possible that your first candidate will have a failed cycle, or your preferred egg donor is not a suitable candidate. In such events you’ll have few options ready to choose from.

Don’t Hesitate to Ask Questions!

Accept it upfront that this process is challenging, and nobody expects you to understand everything right from the start. Feel free to voice any concerns or ask questions as they come up throughout the egg donation process. You, and your partner have the right to ask for updates, and clarification on any issue that may arise or make requests. Ask your fertility agency for regular updates throughout the whole process. Your agency understands the time and monetary commitment that you have made. They should make you feel confident and comfortable.

The Egg Donor Process is Not Immediate

The complete egg donation process of finding the right egg donor and completing the process is not simple. While it’s an important investment, the entire process, from selection to egg retrieval may take 12 to 18 weeks. Some factors include medical and legal requirements that fertility clinics and agencies must adhere to. This isn’t something that can be rushed. Also, the results of the medical screening may take 2 to 4 weeks to get back. Legal contracts can take anywhere from days to weeks to be signed, depending on the changes requested by both parties involved and how quickly they are able to review and sign the paperwork.

Finally, planning and scheduling a cycle also takes time, and is dependent on the egg donor’s menstrual cycle. It is also possible that the donor may not be available in a given month or that the doctor may not be able to start the process until the donor reaches a particular point in her cycle. There can be other factors as well that could come up such as doctor’s availability which might affect the time required for completion of a cycle.

Do you also need a surrogate?

Yes, you will need a surrogate to carry the pregnancy to term but consider selecting an egg donor first. That’s because surrogates are usually eager to start, and some agencies charge fee just to get the surrogacy process started. While on the contrary, the egg donation cycle can still move forward even if there’s a delay in finding the surrogate. All the embryos can be frozen until the surrogate is ready to proceed.

Remember,you’ll have a team of people available to support and guide you throughout the egg donation process. They can make it easy for you to sort out and filter through potential egg donors, figure out what is more important to you and answer all your questions. 

Don’t hesitate to reach out and get in touch with us at coastalfertility.com or call us at 949-726-0600 to learn more about Irvine surrogacy’s egg donors and our egg donation program.