LGBTQ Family Building Options

Thanks to Assisted Reproductive Technologies, LGBTQ couples and individuals can now achieve their dream of building a family with available options. But before starting your parenthood journey, you probably have a lot of questions. What does it involve, what is possible and what can you expect?

It is completely normal to have all these questions and concerns. We know family planning is no easy task, so we are here to help make your journey to parenthood easier and smoother.

Lesbian Family Building Options

• Intrauterine Insemination with a sperm donor (IUI): Also referred to as artificial insemination, is the simplest option. It places washed and prepared sperm directly into the uterus near the eggs during an ovulation cycle. To help track ovulation and increase your chances of success, fertility drugs may be used. In this case, the eggs of you or your partner and donor sperm will be used.
• IVF with a sperm donor: In the process of IVF, you or your partner will undergo ovarian stimulation to develop mature eggs. These are then removed from the ovaries and fertilized in a laboratory. Specialists will then transfer the resulting embryos into either that partner’s uterus or a gestational carrier if needed.
• Reciprocal IVF (in vitro fertilization): Many LGBTQ couples choose this option among other family building options since it gives both partners the opportunity to contribute and work together in the creation of their baby.  Reciprocal IVF allows one of the partners to donate the eggs while the other partner carries the resulting pregnancy to term. The fertility needs of each couple vary, and these needs will determine how a couple uses IVF to conceive.
• Fertility Preservation (egg freezing): Today, more than ever, women are delaying parenthood to pursue a career, educational or personal goals. Many women don’t realize that there is a dramatic decline in egg quality during your 30s and egg preservation puts you in control of your timeline. Instead of embryos being created and transferred the retrieved eggs are cryopreserved and stored.

How do you select a sperm donor?

Lesbian couples need a sperm donor for in vitro fertilization (IVF) and IUI Selecting a sperm donor is a very personal process. You may choose a donor through a licensed sperm bank, or you can choose someone you know such as a family member or friend.

• Anonymous Donor: This option allows you to pick a donor from any sperm bank of your choice. You will be provided information on their physical characteristics, ethnic and educational background, career history and family health history.
• Known Donor: You also have the option to choose a known donor, which can be a close friend or family member. In this case, the chosen donor will need to submit a sample for clinical analysis to be sure that their sperm is healthy and good for fertility treatments.

How should you choose which partner carries the child?

It is not easy for many lesbian couples to decide who will carry the baby. If both partners would like to carry the pregnancy, a series of conversations and debates may follow.  Below are some factors that one must consider to make the right choice:

• Medically Fit: The partner who will be carrying the pregnancy must have good reproductive health. You are going to have the best chance of success when healthy eggs and ovaries. The best first step would be to have a fertility evaluation. This will help determine if there are any medical conditions or risk factors to address that might affect fertility.
• Healthy Lifestyle: Both partners need to consider their overall health and fitness. The chance of success is lower in women who are obese or underweight.

Additionally, smoking, drug abuse, and other bad habits can have adverse effects on pregnancy.

Family Building Options for male LGBTQ couples and individuals

• The most popular option is through gestational surrogacy. In this case, fertilization of eggs from a donor takes place via IVF using you or your partner’s sperm. The person providing the sperm will undergo routine testing to analyze sperm motility, volume, and concentration. The resulting embryos will be transferred into the surrogate’s uterus, who will have no biological connection with the baby.
• If you and your partner want to ensure that the baby has a biological connection with both of you. You can also use sperm from each person to fertilize separate batches of donor eggs. This process could result in twins with the same biological mother but separate fathers. Once the child is born, you do have the option of using a DNA test to determine which parent is the father. If you would like to ensure a genetic relationship to each of the fathers, you may opt to have simultaneous or consecutive surrogacy journeys.

How Do I Find an Egg Donor?

Coastal Fertility will work closely with you to find the best egg donor in orange county and nearby areas based on your preferences. Some Intended Parents will seek a donor with specific characteristics, while others may focus more on educational background, talents or hobbies.

• Anonymous Donor: If you decide to use an anonymous donor, it is best to use a trusted clinic. Check and see what their pre-screening process is. This is important because you want to ensure that they are selecting donors that have high quality and viable eggs. You will also have access to the donor’s profile with detailed background information and medical history.
• Known Donor: In this case, your relative or friend donates her eggs to help you in your family building journey. You’ll already know your donor’s personality, and potentially their health and family background. They will also have the unique opportunity to be a part of your child’s life, which can be incredibly rewarding. A donor will be required to go through the same screening and retrieval process as an anonymous donor.

What is the cost of each option?

The needs and situations of every couple are different. So, it is impossible to know for sure the exact cost without prior knowledge of the specifics about your case. As an LGBTQ couple, factors that affect the cost of your family building option include the type of IVF treatment, diagnostic testing, embryo/egg freezing and storage cost, fertility medications for a donor and recipient, office visits, etc.

Conclusion

Over the past several years, the landscape for LGBTQ families has changed. Coastal Fertility is a fertility agency in Orange County that has helped numerous couples and individuals create a family of their own. If you would like to learn more, you can visit us at www.coastalfertility.com or call (949) 726-0600 to schedule a free consultation.

Julianna Nikolic

Chief Strategy Officer Julianna Nikolic leads strategic initiatives, focusing on growth, innovation, and patient-centered solutions in the reproductive sciences sector. With 26+ years of management experience and a strong entrepreneurial background, she brings deep expertise to advancing reproductive healthcare.