What to Do After a Failed IVF Attempt

A failed IVF cycle can unleash an overwhelming torrent of emotions for anyone. It can be shocking and even demoralizing to get the news that your first IVF cycle has failed.

It’s possible that you have felt the anticipation and excitement while going through an IVF cycle and hoped that this will be the point where you start your family. But when your IVF cycle fails, you and your partner may experience grief and even anger. However, it’s important to try not to blame yourself for the failed attempt. You should ask your fertility expert to explain what may have happened and what the next steps are. It’s also possible that you may not have been able to control the chances of success.

Some Common Reasons Behind Failed IVF Cycle

Embryo Quality

Even when an embryo is in the best shape, it’s possible that embryo is not able to implant after transfer to the uterus because they are flawed in some way. Often times, it may not have been detected during the screening process.

Age of Eggs

Chances of success with IVF significantly depends upon the quality and quantity of eggs. Women who are over the age of 40 have only about a 15% chance of success when using their own eggs. Older women who use donor eggs have a much higher chance of success.

Chromosomal Issues

Chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo are also one of the major factors resulting in IVF failure. They can be the cause of many miscarriages as well as implant failure.

Lifestyle Factors

Many fertility clinics require women to stop smoking long before they start IVF treatments. That’s because women who smoke need twice as many IVF cycles to conceive. The chances of a miscarriage also increase dramatically.

It may take a couple of months to get ready emotionally for the second round of IVF. But when you get ready, there’s an odd mixture of feelings. It’s both harder and easier than the first round.

You may find it easier because you know what to expect from the procedure. You know how to administer injections and how to plan your calendar accordingly. But other parts can be difficult. It can be harder to get as excited as you were for the first round of IVF. There is also more at stake from a financial perspective. But above everything else, it will be difficult to go in for the second round with the same faith and hope that you had with round one.

Here are some tips and suggestions that can help you prepare to gear up for your second round of IVF or IUI.

Understand That The First Round’s Failure Wasn’t Your Fault

As a woman, the initial reaction that you might have after the failed first round’s IVF is to blame yourself. We all tend to look back at the things we could’ve done differently.  “Maybe I should’ve cut out gluten… I should’ve worked out less”. We have seen this happen after many IVF failure, and that won’t do any good for your mental condition for the upcoming round. The first step in getting ready for round two is to acknowledge that none of it is your fault. There’s not always a scientific rhyme or reason. It’s not because you had too much cake or went to the gym. Cut yourself a break, sometimes these procedures work and sometimes they don’t. This may be an unsatisfying answer, but your body is doing the best it can.

Make Sure You’re Really Ready to Go Again

Having a failed IVF cycle, a failed embryo transfer, or a failed IUI can be heart breaking even in the best possible situation. You might need to multiply the heart break if it resulted in OHSS, a miscarriage, a chemical pregnancy or another complicated outcome. The effect may not be limited to emotional heart break, but your body too can be traumatized. There’s no need to rush right back into treatments if your soul and body are not ready. It’s normal to take time off to process what you’re feeling. It would be wise to discuss your emotional, physical and financial status with you partner to be sure that you’re prepared for the next step. Waiting for the right time is a good thing if you’re not ready to move on.

Let Go of Expectations

Because you have gone through the procedure once, it will take all your strength not to compare everything in the second round of IVF. The hardest part will be to let go of these expectations, because they are likely to have a negative impact on you emotionally. As soon as the second round of IVF starts, stop asking questions about egg quality or follicle counts and just go with the flow. Try to detach from the process and consider it a treatment without anticipating anything. This will help you all the way through. It is advised to shelter yourself from information overload, so restraining from FB groups and messages boards is a good idea.

Consider Changing Things Up

Sometimes making some minor changes between your cycles can give you a great sense of control. Whether that means going to therapy, working out more, or increasing the intake of supplements to increase egg quality. Making small changes to tweak your attitude and outlook can make a big emotional difference. It’s human nature to try a different way for the second time once the first attempt fails. It may not necessarily make a huge difference; it certainly doesn’t hurt.

Continue Making Mindful Medical Decisions

Usually, your doctor will tell you in detail about what they have learned from your past failed IVF cycle and how they plan to change things up for the second round. Maybe they can change your medications or change your pre-stimming protocol. It may also mean suggesting alternative options such as an egg donor or surrogacy. Whatever the suggestion just be sure that you are making mindful medical decisions on how you wish to proceed. From your own experience write down the pros and cons.  Do plenty of research and ask questions. Do everything that you need to do to get educated and then be prepared with your partner for the second round.

Take Care of Yourself

Even though it may not seem important to you, it is. Make sure you get everything that you need to stay calm as you get ready for the second round. Do whatever you need to do, whether it’s surrounding yourself with safe friends and family members, just mentally prepare yourself to get back in the game. Selfcare has a different look each day – one day it may be enjoying a green juice alone on another day it may be having a milkshake with friends.

If you still have questions on how to prepare yourself and your partner for the second round of IVF, we’re here to help! You can visit us at coastalfertility.com or call us at 949-726-0600 to schedule a consultation. You can also sign up for our “Free Fertility Seminar” to learn more about your options.