Egg Donor Balancing Act

I still remember the first words that my Reproductive Endocrinologist uttered, even before I was trying to get pregnant. She said: “Infertility in women is a very common problem. I’m afraid you are infertile, so you will need to use an Egg Donor to get pregnant.” “I was wanting to be a single mother at the age of 40 with the help of a sperm donor. It was my own choice.” she also said, “I cannot advise you to choose In Vitro Fertilization (IVF); you need to make that choice yourself and decide whatever you feel is necessary to use an Egg Donor.”

Her words brought chills to my spine. It took me a pretty long time to decide to embark on the journey of motherhood without a partner. Now, before even getting a chance to try to conceive, my dreams were crushed. My first thought – No way! I am not going to use egg donors; even it means I will remain childless.

The state of infertility or women infertility is considered to take place after a person has been trying to conceive for a year without success. I was unwilling to accept my doctor’s prognosis. As I didn’t have a partner, I never tried. I couldn’t bear the fact that I was infertile without even trying to conceive with my own eggs. Hence, I decided to do everything in my power to improve my chances of getting pregnant. I decided to explore possible fertility solutions such as herbs, meditation, stress reduction, etc. I knew some amazing healers and researched herbal remedies. Even though it may seem quite unlikely to notice a significant improvement, I believed I could beat the odds. I read books about a woman who became pregnant even though their doctors said it was impossible.

Doing My Best

Within the first two months of trying, I could clearly see that this effort could stretch into years. There was no limit of alternative practices to try but the chance of success to get pregnant was less than 1%. So, I had to be smart about what to try next.

I kept trying and trying, anything I could think of, but showed no signs of success. At first, I wanted to try everything to conceive before I moved to a more drastic option. That was my only goal.

Choosing Right Time to Treat Women Infertility will Make You Feel Comfortable

I wanted to see that I could beat the odds, but I needed to create a limit on how I would do things, and I had to do them my way. The very first limit I set was time. I knew from the start that I didn’t want to be 45 when I gave birth. So, it was obvious to set a time limit, and for me, one year felt comfortable.

Money for Women Infertility Treatment

I realized that the money I will likely spend on trying to get pregnant would be just a minor fraction of what I would eventually end up spending to raise a child. I had to pick up a specific sum of money that would feel comfortable to me for bringing my child into the world as a single parent. So, I set up a financial limit to ensure that I wouldn’t spend more money at a seemingly impossible task. I asked myself if it was worth it to pursue the idea of getting pregnant, given the unfavorable and crazy odds. Then I decided on a precise sum of money, although I did spend over $1000 extra than the anticipated cost. I figured at least as soon as I started to approach that budget, I could change my course of action, after reaching my limit.

Warming Up to Egg Donation

Working with all my options, I never stopped planning for the possible worst-case scenario – egg donation. Initially, I did feel that using Egg Donor would be similar to adopting a child unrelated to me. Rearing a baby with my genes and watching how similar yet different they are from myself, was an important part of the reason why I was wanting a child in the first place.

However, I didn’t completely ignore the option to find an Egg Donor or adopt a child. Instead, I learned that I make better decisions when I gather research and have my options in front of me. If I feel motivated to move forward, I act accordingly, and if not, I just lose interest.

So, I started to do my research on the idea of using egg donors and let the idea percolate. I started small by gathering information available online about the process and pricing for fresh and frozen eggs.

Working Through Hang-ups

As time passed, the idea of using an Egg Donor started to lift for me. I started to ask myself what it meant to have a genetically related child. It gave me ideas of evolution – it’s natural to propagate our genes. But it also seemed optimal to have genes from other women incubated in my body. When it came down to it, I never really cared about DNA being passed on to my child. I just wanted to be a mother – that’s all.

Besides, having a child would mean that I get to pass on my traditions. I also thought of what it would be like to carry a baby. The baby would be inside me experiencing my moods, listening to my voice, and tasting my food, and what’s more, is that this baby will be created inside me from my body’s cells.

I read online forums about women who used egg donors help to start their family, and I quickly saw that they had no regrets. Eventually, I realized that my child would act how I treated them. My compassion for the desire of having a child took over.

Moving On

I tried to conceive for more than a year, and that was the hardest year of my life. Not only that but I also fraught with constant hope, as well as disappointment. I had to come to a realization with myself that I was not going to get pregnant with my own eggs.

Luckily, the year I spent trying different options, I also armed myself with loads of information about egg donation, which helped truly figure out how I actually felt about it.

I was now not just willing, but even excited about using an Egg Donor. Then, realized that getting pregnant and growing a child inside me was what I need to feel to create that biological link between the child and myself. I am now pregnant with a 5-month baby, and I believe that the mental shift was a powerful component of conceiving.

If you want to learn more about infertility in women and the perspective of using an egg donor and want to see if it is the right fit for you, book an appointment with our fertility clinic. Call us at 949-726-0600 or visit us at coastalfertility.com.